Secrets Kept, Secrets Found
by angels838
Summary: Dean has a secret and Sam just found out what it is. This is Wincest you have been warned.This is my answer to all the stories that make Dean look dumb it just bothers me
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: Wincest**

**Pairing: Dean/Sam**

**Disclaimer: They so don't belong to me but if they did...**

Obviously Dean had been hiding things.

It really wasn't Sam's fault. He wasn't snooping, he's been in and out of the trunk for years and had no clue there was a hidden

space. Well you know other than the weapons locker.

Sam didn't usually do car maintenance. Dean wouldn't allow him to defile his baby. However, since Sam had yet again shot his

brother, he was making the run into town to get more first aid supplies. Why was it that people put motels twenty five fucking miles

from the nearest town anyway?

So here he was on a side road changing the damn tire when he needed to be back at the motel with Dean. It had taken ten hours

this time to get Dean to pull into a motel so Sam could check his shoulder, not to mention the fact that Sam still wasn't convinced

his brother didn't have a minor concussion from the repeated blows to his face but try telling Dean that. Sam knew the only reason

Dean finally stopped and found place to stay was so that he could check Sam's burn. He only let himself be checked because he

knew that was one of the only ways to get Sam to start dealing with some of the guilt was to let him help.

Dean checked them in even though Sam tried to get him to let him do it. The minute Sam walked into the room and saw the single

king size bed Dean saw him physically relax just a little. Although Sam still had to ask him if he was sure after everything. Dean's

answer to had been to turn around and ghost his knuckles across the bruise on Sam's cheek and lean up and kiss him.

Sam had let Dean check his burn first knowing that to argue would only prolong him being able treat Dean's wounds. Once Dean was

through fussing about his burn Sam was able to get him undressed and into the shower to clean him up first before taking care of the

damage. Sam had stood behind Dean washing his hair just soaking in the feeling of still being able to touch his brother, not only

because Dean was still alive, no thanks to Sam, but because apparently Dean still wanted him as his lover. Sam reverently soaped

his brothers body taking special care around his wounded shoulder, blotting around it with the cloth removing dried blood as carefully

as he could. Dean was almost dead on his feet, and there's a word that Sam never, ever wanted to use in the same sentence with his

brothers name again as long as he lived. Sam had quickly finished rinsing the soap off his brother, helping him out of the tub and then

towelling him dry and then himself before helping Dean into his boxers and settling him on the bed. Sam had grabbed the first aid kit

and set about cleaning and dressing Dean's shoulder before he tended to cuts on Dean's face from Sam's fists. Dean sat quietly

watching him as he worked.

"Sam it's not your fault" Dean said.

"Sure feels like it to me, not to mention the evidence on your face is mirrored on my knuckles." Sam's voice shook with the memory of being

able to see and feel the blows but unable to stop them.

"You weren't you and you know it" Dean quietly stated.

"Maybe not but I should have been able to stop." Sam replied. How was he supposed to explain to Dean that although he felt remorse for the

man he had killed it was nothing compared to the guilt and self loathing he carried for the things he had done to his brother.

"You didn't even try to stop me. How can you even stand for me to touch you after everything I did and said to you?" Sam asked shifting his

gaze back to the supplies he was putting up. He couldn't look into Dean's eyes without completely breaking down and this was so not about

him right now.

"Because it wasn't you Sam. I know you and that wasn't my brother or the man that I love. Nothing you could ever do can make me stop

loving you."

Sam leaned up and gently kissed Dean's lips and then his forehead before gently laying Dean back and helping him under the covers. Sam

cleaned up the first aid kit and told Dean he was going to run into town and get more supplies and some food. Dean was almost completely

out, exhausted from the past week of no sleep and stress plus the pain meds that Sam had given him before their shower, but he managed

to keep his eyes open long enough to tell Sam to keep his damn phone on and he better be back in a couple of hours or his ass was fucked.

And you know that really shouldn't have made Sam hard, but damn if he hadn't felt like he could've drilled concrete.

So it really wasn't Sam's fault that he threw the jack into the trunk with a little more force than was technically necessary, and that said jack

slammed into the back of the trunk, apparently hitting something in just the right way for it to pop loose a small very well hidden compartment.

Now Sam being Sam not only noticed this new novelty but decided it was his responsibility to make sure he hadn't damaged anything, really.

So when Sam reached in and pulled out several packets of information he was not prepared for what he was about to read.


	2. Chapter 2

Allright so lets get this straight, Sam had never thought his brother was dumb. Sure he picked on

him and made sarcastic remarks about things that Dean said or did but that's what siblings especially

younger siblings did. Sam knew he came across as condescending sometimes but damn it was so

easy when Dean was being obnoxious which lets face it was seriously a lot of the time but there again

that was the sibling syndrome especially if you were the oldest it was a given you had to be obnoxious

to the rest that were beneath you it was a God given right and they took it damn serious too apparently.

If the Winchesters had actually grown up "normal" then all would have been fine but we are Winchesters

and that tells you right there that nothing in our lives are ever simple.

Sam can be accused of a lot of things and thinking options through to the ninth degree (OCD much) is

one of them. So standing on a deserted side road with a hidden compartment he was never meant to find

obviously and several good sized packets gave Sam alot to think about. Of course Sam being who he is

jumped straight to the worst case scenario and obsessed without even looking in the packets. His brother

was dying. Dean had cancer or some other life ending ailment and he was protecting Sam like he always

did trying to keep Sam from breaking or promising a suicide pact. The more Sam stood and contemplated

this and very nearly passed out from hyperventilating he reasoned that one faith healer and one demon possessed

reaper would have pretty much flushed that possibility out of Dean's system. After thirty minutes of eyes closed,

forehead pulled together in concentration working through the possible scenarios and gripping the packets so

tight that his fingers had bypassed cramps and were now in the numb phase Sam decided the only way to know

for sure was to just suck it up and read them.

His first reaction was "WHAT THE FUCK", his second was (well he really didn't have a second) his damn phone

rang and scared the shit out of him. When he checked the display he saw it was Dean and he had been gone the

two hours he had been allocated. Damn, Dean must have set his phone alarm or his internal Sammy's missing

alert was screaming, not that Sam could really blame him not with his track record. Sam wisely answered quickly

and reassured his brother that he was fine and that it was only a flat but he had forgot the food and was headed there

now to pick it up. Which wasn't really true since the food was sitting in the front seat but after and hour it wasn't

something he wanted to contemplate much less eat.

Sam made a quick detour by the library on the way to pick up the food. He copied all the documents in the packets

and returned the originals to the compartment fixing it so that it was back to its hidden condition. He shagged ass

back to the motel before Dean came looking for him as promised. He made it back in record time not only did he

want a chance to read what he had found but he was anxious to check on his brother. He had been gone too long

between the blown tire and his melt down he had left Dean alone much longer than he had intended.

Dean was coming back from the bathroom when Sam opened the door and walked in. Sam could tell by the glassy

eyes and the sweat beading on his brothers forehead as well as the pale complexion that made the freckles Sam

loved to worship stand out so vividly on his face that he was running a fever. He quickly put everything down and

helped Dean back to the bed getting him settled before he handed Dean the container of soup he had bought him.

For which he got an aristocratic sniff and an unholy glare that could have sent hellhounds racing for cover.

"Just eat it Dean you won't be able to keep anything else down with that fever.: Sam replied to his brother's glare

"Doesn't mean I have to like it Sammy. What took you so long besides abusing my baby?" Dean asked as he

sipped his soup.

"I stopped to get you some antibiotics at the pharmacy. Those colored sheets of scripts you stole at the last

hospital are finally coming in handy." Sam said in way of explanation.

"Yea well I gotta be good for something." Dean said sleepily

Sam frowned at the wording but realized that Dean was half asleep. He set the soup on the table noticing that Dean

had actually eaten a fair amount. Sam got his brother to take another pain pill as well as the antibiotic he picked up.

He settled Dean on the bed and then quickly removed the bandages on his shoulder checking to make sure the

bleeding had stopped and applied more ointment before redressing the wound. He started to get up and go to the

small table where the laptop was sitting when Dean reached out and grabbed his hand mumbling for him to stay.

Sam kicked off his shoes and crawled in behind his brother wrapping his arm around Dean's waist and breathing

in his lovers scent relaxing into the peace of his brothers deep even breathing.

Sam woke a couple hours later and carefully slide out of the bed making sure not to wake Dean. He sat down at the

desk and pulled out the stack of copies he had made from one of the bags and started reading. Which he did for the

next five hours he discovered when he finally glanced up to realize the sun had set, he really needed some light and

Dean was still sleeping.

Now Sam's chosen area of law studies was personal law. It was geared more towards defending people that couldn't

pay the million dollars to buy there way out of shit, he wanted to help people that really needed him something that

he had pretty much been doing all his life just in a different context. He had however had to take some of the same

prerequisites that his friends that were studying corporate law had taken. So not only from conversations with those

friends and the fact that Sam was no slouch himself he knew he was reading legal contracts for patents. Several

to be exact and all in an alias that Sam didn't know. There were also documents for a complete life history including

birth certificate, social security card, a complete background as well as bank account information that Sam was pretty

damn sure was not in this country.

Sam had thought not only did he know all his brother's different aliases but that he knew all his brother's secrets as well.

He was apparently not correct in that assumption. He wasn't sure wether to be hurt by this new revelation or not. Sam

was still traveling through the realm of shock. Not only was there the whole patent thing but the correspondence back

and forth in legal jargon nontheless was all done in his brother's neat, concise handwriting.

Sam was holding in his hands Michael Jonathan Coulomb. Sam knew the first two choices were Dean's and his middle

names but the last name stumped him until he googled him. Apparently Dean had decided on the last name of a famous

physicist who from the patents that Sam was looking at was a pretty good choice seeing as how Coulomb was known

(if you ran in those circles) for his works in applied mechanics as well as electricity and magnetism. This life that he held

was for someone he wasn't sure he had ever met but that he slept with every night and loved more than his own life.


	3. Chapter 3

_Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_

_Don't know how much time has passed_

_All I know is that it feels like forever_

_When no one ever tells you that forever_

_Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head_

_Stone Sour - Through Glass_

_-------------------------------------------_

Sam continued to sit dumbfounded by everything that he had discovered. Dean was still asleep.

but Sam was going to have to wake him up soon and give him his medicine to keep the infection

at bay. Sam's mind was completely overloaded he could not believe that something this big

had escaped his notice about his brother. He knew if he asked Dean about what he had found

that Dean would evade all attempts at conversation and he damn sure wouldn't explain it. He

really didn't think Dean would be mad especially since it was purely by accident that he found

it. But to ask Dean now that he was in pain, fevered and pumped full of pain medicine would be

just another traitorous act on top of all the huge number already played out against his brother or

at least that's how Sam saw it. So Sam decided to do the next best thing, he would figure it

out it was good at that. He decided he needed a lot more information before he even attempted

to get Dean to open up about it.

-

Sam quickly pulled up his own school information that he had put on his application to Stanford.

He wrote down all the schools that Dean had attended during the same time frame and then

backtracking through his fathers entries in the journal to place the other states they had been in

while Dean had been in high school. He placed the list and the documents back into the bag

and shoved it all under the bed trying not to think about the last time it had ever been cleaned.

Dean had started shifting in his sleep and mumbling just low enough that Sam couldn't make out

what he was saying, and damn if that hadn't always bugged the shit out of Sam. How were you

supposed to get the good ammunition if you couldn't hear it . Sam reached out and put his hand

on Dean's forehead feeling that the fever hadn't gotten worse.

-

"Dean wake up, you need to eat something and take some more medicine." Sam said as he ran his

fingers through Dean's hair.

-

"Don't want to run drills today." was the mumbled response that Sam received.

-

"No drills baby, just a nice day in bed after you take your medicine." Sam replied smiling as he ran

his fingers over Dean's cheekbone and cupped his face in his hand leaning down and kissing Dean

gently on the lips until Sam knew he had his attention.

-

Sam pulled back and helped Dean sit up in the bed. Getting the medicine while Dean got his bearings.

-

"Here take these and I'll warm up th rest of the soup for you." Sam said handing Dean the antibiotics.

-

"Can't we have some real food?" Dean complained as he swallowed the pills.

-

"Sure I can, but you won't be getting any till tomorrow." Sam replied with an evil little smirk that showed

off his dimples.

-

"That's so not fair, I think I deserve a nice big fat juicy steak or at least a hamburger." As he spoke his

stomach growled apparently agreeing with him.

-

"I tell you what you keep another helping of soup down and the meds and we'll go into town tomorrow."

"You can have whatever you want to eat as long as you'll come back and lay down afterward. You

need to give yourself time to heal." Sam averted his eyes on the last sentence feeling the guilt swamp

him for yet more pain that he had caused his brother.

-

"Only if you'll stop doing the guilty it's all my fault shit." Dean threw back.

-

"How many times do I have to tell you it wasn't your fault. You had no control over the evil bitch riding

around in your body." Dean said getting frustrated at not being able to get it through his brothers thick

skull.

-

"Fine, I get it. I'll stop feeling guilty ( yea right like that was going to happen this millenium) just eat

your soup and then we'll get you settled again. Sam said knowing it was the only way to cut Dean

off before he got even more agitated and managed to start his shoulder bleeding again by trying to

prove something Sam.

-

It worked to some extent. Dean eased back and ate but still gave Sam his grumpy I'm not happy face,

but he let it go for now. When Dean had finished eating he slowly made his way to the bathroom to

take care of his little nightly rituals (okay so Sam wasn't the only OCD one). Sam was smart enough

to know that an offer of help would not be welcome. Dean would only allow help for so long and under

very stringent rules. The first being if he was unconscious followed by damage that couldn't be reached

by oneself and the last was if it was something that would help Sam deal with a given circumstance.

They had been operating under the second and third rule but Sam could tell that Dean was slowly

reinstating his independence over all things Dean and followed closely by all things pertaining to Sam's

welfare. Sam really did love Dean and the way he looked after him but Sam wished he was allowed to

show it the same way by taking care of Dean when he needed it and deserved it. After Dean came out

and returned to bed turning on the tv to watch for a little while, Sam sat down to do research but

not the kind that Dean thought he was doing. Sam had gotten out the list of schools while Dean was

in the bathroom, he sat down and started typing out a generic request form requesting transcripts for

Dean's school records. When he finished and sent in the forms undert he guise of a college asking for

information on an applicant for their doctorate program. He shut the computer down and headed to the

bathroom.

-

When he came back out Dean was nodding off and Sam shut the tv off and slid into bed with him. Dean

turned over and put his arm around Sam's waist snuggling in behind Sam's back. Dean kissed the nape

of Sam's neck and then buried his nose in the same spot. Sam sighed and relaxing into Dean's embrace

and fell asleep in the next breath secure in the knowledge that the one person he couldn't live without

still loved and wanted him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay as usual they aren't mine but I cry myself to sleep every night hoping**

**Warnings : This is Wincest and I did change the rating for some loving in this chapter**

**Pairing: Dean/Sam**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Sam had taken Dean into town as promised the next day. Dean's fever had come down but he

still got tired quickly much to his disgust. Sam let him pick breakfast and then lunch once they

had finished the laundry, well actually Sam had done the laundry Dean just sat and watched.

Sam ultimately put his foot down about going back to the motel when he left the restroom and

caught Dean with his head leaned against the window of the dinner not knowing that Sam had

walked up behind him. Dean being Dean had to argue just a little, he never could do things

the easy way.

-

When they entered the motel room Sam walked into the bathroom and quickly came back out.

Dean still hadn't moved which told Sam that he still needed help wether he wanted it or not.

Sam muscled his brother over to the bed, gently pushing him down before kneeling down to

help Dean off with his boots while the water in the shower he had turned on heated up.

-

"Man I'm not an invalid Sam. I can take my own boots off." Dean complained.

-

"I know but it's not often you let me take care of you and in another couple of days your going

to be itching to leave, so just let me do this for you, please." Sam said voice low and rough

looking up at Dean through his lashes.

-

Dean's sharp intake of breath was all the answer Sam needed. He helped Dean with his shirt

and then his pants, stripping out of his own clothes before pulling Dean into the steam shrouded

bathroom. Sam quickly steered Dean into the tub careful of his shoulder and followed in behind

him. Sam took the washcloth and soap working it up into a lather. He started with Dean's right

arm sliding the cloth over wet slicked skin across his back and down his left arm only to backtrack

up the left. He soaped the wide expanse of shoulders until there was a good lather, slinging the

cloth across his shoulder, Sam began to knead the muscles in Dean's neck and shoulders down his

back and then moving up again to rinse the soap away. Sam leaned forward and let his lips and

tongue follow the same path, starting with Dean's neck licking and sucking till he heard Dean moan

his name. Biting down with just enough force to leave a mark in the spot where neck meets

shoulder, Sam started a slow torturous slide down to his knees. Taking the cloth and soaping it

again Sam worked it over Dean's hips and down his right leg, moving over to his left and making

the return trip. Sam focused his attention on Dean's ass next washing and massaging the firm

swell of flesh. Sam slowly leaned forward licking at the drops of water cascading over those tight

cheeks. At the first touch of Sam's tongue Dean jerked forward with a gasp and then leaned back

into sensation with a groan. Sam parted him and ran his tongue up and down the crease flicking his

tongue over the puckered flesh. He dipped his tongue in tasting the dark musky flavor of his brother

moaning low in his throat as Dean pressed back trying to get more. Dean whimpered when Sam

stood up behind him pressing into his back. Sam's cock hard and needy pressing

into Dean's ass as Sam leaned back down and bite the same spot he had earlier sending an electric

jolt straight to Dean's leaking cock. Sam carefully turned Dean around continuing to lick and suck

at Dean's neck till he was facing him. Sam listened to Dean's ragged breathing marvelling at the effect he

had on his brother. Sam picked the cloth back up and added more soap slowly

running it across Dean's chest never breaking eye contact. Dean's pupils where blown, lids heavy

with lust , cheeks flushed, lips bitten red and swollen, Sam had to clamp a hand around the base

of his cock to keep from coming at the sight of his brother. Dean continued to watch Sams face as he

moved lower washing across Dean's nipples causing him to arch forward cock brushing against Sam's.

A whimper escaped Dean's throat at the feel of hard wet satiny skin against his own. Sam just smiled that

slow, sexy smirk and kept moving lower careful not to touch Dean where he most needed it. Sam ran

the cloth through crisp curls and over Dean's heavy sacs listening to the hitch in Dean's breathing each

time Sam's breath fell across his cock. Sam looked up meeting Dean's eyes as he leaned forward

and ran his tongue across Dean's cockhead gathering the precome and taking it into his mouth moaning

at the taste watching Dean's eyes go impossibly darker. Dean's hand came down on Sam's head

tangling in his hair trying to steady himself as his knees went weak from the sensation of Sam's mouth

on him. Sam licked his lips and leaned forward taking Dean's cock into his mouth running his tongue

up the underside and over the head on the upsweep. He relaxed his throat and swallowed as he went

down again humming in the back of his throat sending Dean over the edge screaming Sam's name

as his orgasm ripped through him. Sam continued to lick and suck Dean through the aftershocks swallowing everything

Dean gave him, releasing Dean only as his legs started to give out. Sam stood back up and Dean reached

out to take Sam's cock in his hand but Sam reached out and took his hand bringing it to his lips and

kissed the palm.

-

"That was for you baby." Sam said quietly as he leaned forward taking Dean's mouth in a gentle kiss.

-

Sam ran his tongue along Dean's lips nipping and biting before he pulled back and leaned his forehead

against Dean's. Sam took himself in hand sliding his fist up over his rigid flesh and twisting his wrist

at the top to slide across the head. It was the most erotic thing Sam had done in his life, his cock

sliding through his fist, his breath mingling with Dean's as both watched the slip slide of flesh through

flesh, the dirty sound of wet slick suction, until Sam went rigid and spilled across his fingers. Sam

reached out to rinse his hand but Dean's grip on his wrist stopped him as he raised Sam's hand to his

mouth licking and sucking till it was clean eyes dark as he watched Sams eyes darken and catch

his lip between his teeth.

-

Sam leaned around Dean and turned the cooling water off, drying Dean and himself he lead them to the bed.

Sam pulled back the covers and waited for Dean to lay down and then slid in behind him slinging his

arm across Dean's waist and snugging him up against his body burying his face in Dean's neck they

both quickly dropped off to sleep, sated and content.

-

Sam woke a short time later placing a kiss on Dean's temple and sliding out of bed. He quietly made his

way over the laptop and pulled up his password protected file, a detail that four days ago would have

meant something. However the deeper he delved into his brothers secret he had a feeling nothing was

truly secure if Dean wanted in.

-

Sam had started pulling research on some of the patents that were

filed under Dean's alias. He was flabbergasted at the results, some things he understood but others just

went right over his head, Sam had never been gifted in mechanics, quite a few other things but not

this type of mechanics at least. He discovered that several of the items they actually used in their work his

brother had invented and developed, others he had improved. The new EMF detector they had been using

for the last several months along with the really cool night vision goggles that had appeared in the trunk.

The goggles were something that anyone with enough money could get but these had several modifications

that Sam had actually commented on, one being the filter system in the lenses making the sight more

crisp and clear. When Sam had researched it, he found that the military was using them in field tests with

their special forces. He also found a patent for an emission spectrometer which the base definition for

that was to track plasma optical emissions and bingo that would be that new thermal imaging do hickey

they used now to look for cold spots. That didn't even include the radiation meter, motor brakes and damn

if Dean hadn't even put a patent on the rock salt shells ( and Sam really had to ask him what the practical

application for that was in normal everyday life). The more Sam thought about it the clearer the picture

was getting.

-

The patents were dated about two years before he left for college and the last one was dated just after Sam

had been back with his brother for about two or three months. Sam knew that even though Dean had honored

Sam's wishes and not contacted him for two years that Dean had still kept and eye on him. On several

occasions money would appear in his account and after the first three times it happened and the bank couldn't

tell Sam where it had come from or how it had gotten there, Sam had just given up and accepted that his

brother was still watching out for him. He had just assumed that Dean had gotten the money by hustling

pool or poker, maybe even off of the fraudulent credit cards he was so fond of , so guess what that made

Sam for assuming huh.

-

Sam leaned back in the chair watching his brother sleep trying to figure out how he could have been so fucking

blind.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam was waiting on one more piece of information. He had received emails back from every single

school and some had even sent letters from teachers with glowing recommendations. It had taken

two weeks to receive all the responses and he continued to bide his time paying close attention to things

he never had before, like the fact that Dean could sit and do puzzles in his head and get the answers

before Sam could get them figured out on paper. Something that Sam knew Dean could do but it never

really meant anything before now, it was just Dean, it was something Sam had never questioned.

Sam knew he had to be careful because if there was one thing that Dean knew it was Sam, it didn't

matter what it was. Dean sometimes knew things were off with Sam before Sam knew it and wasn't that

just damn aggravating and mildly disconcerting at times.

-

Sam had sat going through e-mail after e-mail trying to come to terms with the fact that Dean was a straight

A student. Apparently all the times that Sam had assumed (and there was that word again) that Dean had

been in detention, a belief that Sam realized Dean had fostered, he had actually been doing work for his

accelerated classes.

-

Dean had just come out of the shower telling Sam he was going to grab some food from town and asking

if he wanted anything. Truth be told Sam just wanted him to leave so he could check his e-mail.

Dean had called first shower as soon as their last hunt was finished and giving Sam nasty looks the whole

way home. Sam was still snickering at the fact that the zombie they had been hunting decided it would

be fun to mud wrestle with Dean as he was trying to get it back in the grave. It would have been damn

hot to Sam's way of thinking, seeing his brother rolling around in the mud, well you know minus the zombie

that is. Dean however did not share humor that's why Sam would again be doing the laundry, damn zombies.

As soon as Sam heard the Impala drive off he opened his e-mail. He had been having to be careful of late

because Dean was starting to get curious about what Sam had been working on. Course that was damn

difficult when every time Sam opened a new e-mail and found out the pure extent of what his brother had been

hiding, he tended to make a cross between a gasp and a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat. Which

was why he had waited this time to even read his e-mail. Sam realized later what a really brilliant idea that

had truly been , especially when he read said e-mail because he thinks he may have been catatonic for some time.

-

The e-mail was from the last school that Dean had attended and not only had they sent his SAT scores but

they had apparently managed to coerce his brother into and IQ test (and he really wanted to know how they

had managed that, since it would come in damn handy when Dean was being a stubborn ass). Sam sat and

read over the SAT scores first, out of a possible 2400 his brother had scored a 2350. He had a perfect 800 in

math, a 775 in writing and a 775 in reading. At this point Sam was pretty freaking confident that Dean had

purposely missed questions in the two sections he hadn't scored perfect in. He was even more positive of that

conclusion when he read over the results of the IQ test, what Sam couldn't figure out among other things was

why. Why wouldn't Dean do what he was capable of? The more he thought about it the more obvious the answer

was, especially when he recalled an article he had read not too long ago about a kid in Atlanta that had scored

a perfect 2400. Dean would have known that it would have brought way too much attention to him and by default

his family, plus Sam didn't think Dean would have spent four years keeping his academic achievements quiet to have

it spread all over the papers for everybody to see. Sam had been getting steadily angrier the more he read so

when he finally did open the attachment for the IQ scores he was pretty fucking sure he had steam coming out

of his ears.

-

Sam had a teacher who had managed to convince him to do the IQ test as well and when he had gotten his scores

back he had been both surprised and ecstatic because he knew that it would help him achieve his goal of getting out,

of becoming normal. Sam looked at Dean's scores and couldn't decide if he wanted to shake his brother till his

teeth rattled in his skull or to sit and cry. His brother had made a 140 which was past the very superior range of the

scale and bordering on genius, Sam had mad a 128 which was the high end of superior and just to put things into

context Sam had made a 2275 on his SAT's. Dean was actually smarter than him, it was damn disconcerting. It

wasn't that Sam was an academic snob or that he even minded the fact that his brother was smarter it was the pure

magnatude of his brother's secret that left him breathless and lost. Sam absolutely refused to call it deception because

really who had Dean lied to? Dean hadn't lied to dad or Sam because truthfully who that hell had ever asked Dean

about his grades. Sam knew his dad hadn't, as long as he wasn't getting calls from the school he was happy to ignore

the fact that the boys even went.

-

Dean had taken all the calls from the school if it had to do with Sam. It was Dean

that had attended all the parent teacher conferences, gone to all the programs, signed all the permission slips, dealt

with all the typical childhood traumas and proudly supported and shared all the milestones in Sam's life. On occasion

when dad had been gone longer than the money he left lasted, Dean would even find odd jobs so that they had money

for groceries and to pay for a few more days at wherever they were at the time. So who had done that for Dean,

unfortunately the answer was glaringly clear, NO ONE.

-

The only time Sam could remember his dad saying anything about school was when Dean had been in a fight

(never mind that it was to protect Sam or some other kid that was being bullied). It was always punishable by

extra drills or more weapons maintenance. Dad would get pissed if Sam hadn't wanted to go on a hunt because

he had school work or school activities but Dean would step in take the heat and the extra work that should have

been Sam's. Dad had never asked how they did, just made sure they were attending so no one would dig into their

business. When Sam had needed help with homework it was Dean who had sat and explained

things patiently, waiting till Sam was able to solve the problem or grasp the formula, letting Sam talk it through till he

was able to do it on his own the next time. Making sure that he could do it on his own instead of just giving him the answers

which he realized was why he had achieved as much as he had before everything had burnt down around him, again.

Sam had always had Dean's support no matter what he was doing but Dean had never had the same. Dad was barely ever

there once Dean had made it into junior high and sure Sam was only a kid but hadn't his brother taught him anything about

family by example.

-

The only answer that kept bouncing around in Sam's brain was that he had apparently been brain sucked

by something they hunted because looking back Sam couldn't think of a time that he had asked Dean about his report card

that Dean hadn't responded by saying he had passed. Sam had never pushed for more, never asked any questions and see

there's his point right there (brain sucked) because when in the hell had he not asked questions about everything. He had just

been happy in the knowledge that he had done well and that Dean was proud of him. It wasn't that he hadn't cared he had just

never stopped to think about it (okay so I really am a fucking selfish prick) Sam thought as he leaned back in the chair and

ran his hands through his hair.

-

Sam heard the Impala's throaty growl and quickly closed the windows down and turned it off, jumping on the bed and switching

on the tv. Dean came back carrying pizza and beer, he had even gotten it the way Sam liked it complete with black olives.

Sam reached out and flicked olives off a couple of pieces before grabbing some for himself. Dean just gave him a perplexed look

before grabbing the now oliveless pieces and settling down beside Sam.

-

"Okay Sam what's going on? Dean asked brow furrowing as he studied Sam.

-

"Nothing, I just thought since you went and picked it up and got me olives that the least I could do was take them off yours since you

don't like them." Sam replied trying to keep his voice nonchalant.

-

"Umm huh" Dean mused as he continued to stare at Sam like he was a puzzle Dean was assembling.

-

"What? Cant I do something nice without you making a big deal out of it?" Sam asked looking away afraid that Dean would somehow

know what Sam had been up to .

-

"Sure you can, there's just usually a reason behind it. Let me guess you don't want to do the laundry? Too bad, you shouldn't have thought

my mud bath was so hysterical, bitch." Dean said grinning.

-

Sam really wanted to contradict Dean but knew he would blow all his hard work if he spilled now so he just bit into another slice and grinned

back.

"Oh, well it was worth a try, jerk." Sam managed after a swallow of beer.

-

" I was thinking about hitting that bar down the road later on. We could use som fund replenishment." Dean stated looking at Sam out the

corner of his eye.

-

Sam could tell Dean was waiting for him to start bitching about hustling, so he just shrugged and said " Sure I can do some research see if

I can find us something new and exciting."

-

"Well make sure it's not zombies this time. I hate those fucker, just nasty I tell ya." Dean grumbled back with a shudder.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warnings: Wincest**

**Pairing: Dean/Sam**

**Disclaimer: I don't know why I bother you know they're not mine.**

Sam sat at the table under the guise of doing research but really all he was doing was watching his brother. He watched as Dean lined up his shot with intense accuracy (something he did with everything, from killing evil shit to fucking Sam). He watched as Dean prowled around the pool table all grace and lethal power. Sam could spend hours just watching his brother move, he moved like a big cat all fluid motion and completely predatory and damn if Sam didn't like to be the prey. To have all that sleek hard flesh moving against his, sliding over an around, molding to hard lines (and shit he had to stop this line of thought before he came like a thirteen year old boy). Sam shook his head to clear the sensual haze he had sunk into, eyes searching out his brother.

-

Dean had been aware that he was being watched but he was pretty used to that. When he hustled he tended to put on a show, it redirected attention leaving the mark off balance, it just depended on the crowd what the show was going to be. He had been doing this for so long it was truly second nature to know if someone was going to cause a problem, not that he was always right but more times than not. He knew that there was no risk from this bunch unless you counted someone drinking too much and not making it to the head in time, plus Sam had his back. When he finished the last game and collected his winnings he looked around trying to pinpoint exactly where the watcher was. When his eyes found Sam he realized the only thing he had to worry about was wether they made it back to the room or not before he had Sam anyway he could get him. Then Sam's eyes met his and Dean's breathe caught in his throat as Sam raised his bottle to his mouth licking around the rim before covering it with his mouth and tipping his head back so that Dean could follow the motion of his throat as it worked around the liquid spilling down it. Dean was moving before he processed the intent.

-

Dean was leaning back against the wall watching him, his smirk told Sam that he knew exactly what had been running through his mind. Sam just raised his bottle of beer to his lips never breaking eye contact. Before Sam could take a second swallow Dean was moving across the room. He stopped in front of Sam reaching out and taking the bottle from his brother as he raised it to his own mouth and finished it off as he set it back down he reached for his coat.

-

"Time to go." His voice was low and rough.

-

"Fuck yea." Sam breathed grabbing the laptop and heading for the door.

-

They had made it back to the motel, just barely. Dean had Sam pushed against the door as Sam tried to get it open their combined weight slamming the door into the wall as Sam twisted the knob. Dean already had Sam pushed against the wall slamming the door the opposite way with his foot. Sam couldn't even form a coherent thought, Dean's hands in his hair pulling his head back till he had unfettered access to Sam's neck. Dean licked and sucked and bit till Sam's knees threatened to give way if Dean's leg hadn't been between Sam's thighs pressing up into his erection. The friction was just enough to drive Sam insane but not enough to send him over the edge.

-

Dean lifted his head from where he had been devouring Sam's neck as Sam begged and pleaded for more. Sam's eyes opened as he felt the subtle shift in mood. Dean was watching him with disturbing intensity it felt like he was trying to see into Sam's soul. Dean slowly leaned up and placed one of the gentlest most heartbreaking kisses Sam had ever experienced against his lips. Dean drew back as Sam raised his hands and rested them on Dean's hips as his brother continued to study him before he whispered in a husky voice

-

"I really do love you Sam." before leaning back in and taking possession of Sam's mouth swallowing the gasp Sam had let out at the unexpected statement. Dean slowly ran his hands up his brother's arms stopping on his shoulders before moving them up to cup Sam's face in his palms.

-

Sam shifted pulling Dean closer to deepen the kiss reveling in the feel of his brothers mouth on his. He couldn't help feel a chill run down his spine at the infinite tenderness that had stolen over the moment, not that they hadn't had just as many times of gentle lovemaking as all out fucking, but this, this was entirely different. All thoughts quickly seeped out of Sam's ears as Dean's hands made their way up into the silky length of his hair, caressing and stroking, cradling Sam's head in his hands. Dean slowly pulled away to place kisses on Sam's eyelids before moving down to his neck and placing butterfly kisses on the warm, flushed skin. He continued kissing and licking, listening to the sounds of Sam's breathing alternating between ragged breaths and pants. Dean nibbled on Sam's adams apple feeling the vibrations of the moan torn from his chest before he actually heard the sound.

-

Sam pulled again trying to get even closer, not sure that anything less than crawling inside his brother to share space with him would satisfy the constant need for Dean. Sam could feel Dean's need to be in control and honestly Sam didn't want to do or say anything that would wreck what was happening between them.

-

Dean slowly unbuttoned Sam's overshirt with unhurried, deliberate motions. He slid the shirt off Sam's shoulders and down his arms dipping his head to kiss over the new skin he had uncovered. Sam's breath hitched with every caress, hands tightening reflexively on Dean's hips. Thank God he had only worn one tshirt tonight was the only coherent thought swimming through his brain before Dean's mouth followed the path of his hands up Sam's stomach and across his chest lapping at his nipples making his hips buck into Dean's. A whimper escaped his throat before Dean managed to get the shirt over his head.

-

When the top half of Sam had been divested of clothes Dean leaned in to bury his nose in the crook of Sam's neck breathing in the smell that to Dean would always be home. Sam's breath stuttered and stalled in his chest as Dean's warm breath wafted across his skin causing goosebumps to raise all over his body and his finger to curl in Dean's waistband where he gripped Dean's hips, knowing that there would be bruises. The thought made Sam even harder knowing that his brother, his lover carried his marks under his clothes, knowing that every time Dean moved his jeans would rub against those finger shaped bruises like a promise.

-

Dean continued to torment Sam as he ran his fingers across satin skin and hard muscle, tracing scars old and new. He splayed his hands across Sam's ribs feeling the warm skin over bone. He ran his lips over the same scars his fingers had just traced, following them till he found his way to first one nipple and then the other, tongue laving, lips nibbling and teeth grazing across each pebbled flesh till Sam was gasping for breath and begging for release.

-

Sam whimpered when Dean reached for the button on his jeans and slowly began to draw the zipper down, knuckles brushing against smooth skin, stomach muscles jumping at the contact. Dean dropped to his knees following the descent of the zipper nuzzling into the spot bellow Sam's navel breathing in the scent of his brothers arousal. Sam's legs buckled when Dean's tongue began to draw circles around his navel dipping in again and again.l Sam would have embarrassed by the noises he was making if he had been able to think beyond the pleasure pulsing through his body.

-

Dean's hands on his waist and Sam's hands on Dean's shoulders was the only thing keeping him upright when Dean helped him get his shoes and jeans the rest of the way off. Dean continued to stroke and lick as more skin was freed. He ran his hands back up Sam's legs pushing them further apart so he could get closer. He let his fingers run lightly through the crisp curls that cradled his brothers cock. Dean's pulse was rocketing off the charts and his mouth watered just thinking about the taste of Sam in his mouth the weight and feel of him against his tongue.

-

Sam couldn't think, couldn't breath all he could do was feel as Dean's tongue ran up his cock from root to tip licking across the head catching precome and moaning at the taste. Dean looked up catching Sam's eyes watching him pupils blown, lips kiss swollen, and breath ragged. Dean lowered his mouth engulfing his brother's cock slowly taking him deeper on each downstroke. He continued to run his tongue up and over as he fondled Sam's balls rolling them in his palms, squeezing gently.He continued to suck his brother even deeper till the tip was brushing the back of his throat. Sam's legs had started to shake and when Dean took him all the way down his throat and swallowed, humming his pleasure, Sam's body went rigid and he came spilling down Dean's throat screaming his name. Dean continued to suck Sam through the aftershocks not stopping till Sam was empty, supporting him as his legs gave out.

-

When Sam was able to see around the spots dancing in his vision he pushed away from the wall and pulled Dean to his feet. Dean leaned forward kissing him and drawing him to the bed.

-

"What do you want Sam, tell me what you need." Dean asked voice shot, eyes glazed over.

-

"I want you Dean, I want to feel you in me." Sam said quietly running his hands across his brothers shoulders and up into his hair before pulling him in and kissing him till he had to have air.

-

Sam crawled onto the bed and lay back watching Dean through heavy lidded eyes. Dean's breath hitched as he took in Sam's body sprawled across the bed legs spread one arm behind his head the other running up and down his chest and stomach dipping closer and closer to his cock with each pass. Dean undressed quickly crawling onto the bed and lowering himself over his brother. They both moaned at the first full body contact they had, had all night. Dean continued to stoke his hands over Sam's body getting lost in the sensation of touching his brother until Sam leaned up and pulled Dean's head down to capture his lips with his growling in the back of his throat at the taste of Dean.

-

Sam spread his legs wider so that he could cradle Dean between his thighs feeling his brother hard and hot against him. Sam rocked his hips up hearing a low groan pulled from deep in Dean's chest as he fought for control.

-

"Please Dean, I need to feel you in me now." Sam begged knowing that Dean had never been able to hold out long against something that Sam wanted.

-

Dean moaned Sam's name as he slicked his fingers, pushing one in sliding slowly in and out till Sam started to push his hips down trying to get more. Dean slipped a second finger in quickly followed by the third, brushing over Sam's prostate again and again until Sam was sobbing with the need to be filled. Dean pushed in one more time leaning down sliding his tongue over his brothers cock before pulling his fingers away and shifting closer he pulled Sam's leg up around his waist. Dean moved forward pushing slowly at Sam's entrance until the head of his cock slid past that tight ring of muscles. Sam was writhing under him urging him forward shifting his hips trying to pull Dean deeper into his body until Dean was fully sheathed in tight, overwhelming heat.

-

Dean leaned down taking Sam's mouth in a deep kiss tongue thrusting in and out in sync with his cock rocking in and out of Sam's body. Dean pulled back to watch his cock slide in and out of his brother's ass. It was really the most intoxicating thing to watch, his cock sliding in, the flesh around him sinking in and then puffing out as he pulled back until only the head stayed inside that tight clinging heat. It felt so good he had to fight the urge to not pound into that tight hole that was squeezing around him making his head swim. But Dean wanted to make it last as long as possible, he wanted Sam to know that he belonged to him, no matter what. Dean continued to thrust in a slow constant motion getting lost in the absolute perfect feel of Sam's body as he worked his cock deeper and deeper on each thrust.

-

Sam was desperate, he needed to come right the fuck now and Dean was going to kill him if that fucking control didn't break soon. Sam was keening deep in his throat pushing his hips down into his brother's thrusts when he finally felt Dean shudder and the pace increase. Sam leaned up and pulled Dean's head down sucking his tongue into his mouth as Dean's thrust became broken and erratic. Sam felt him stiffen right before the rush of heat deep inside him sent him over the edge to his own orgasm.

-

Dean pulled out carefully, rolling to the side sliding his arms around Sam's waist and pulling him snug against

his chest. Sam leaned back into Dean's heat relaxing under the weight of his brother's arms.

-

"I love you to Dean, more than you'll ever know" Sam sighed into the quiet room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warnings - Wincest**

**Pairings - Dean/Sam**

**Disclaimer - They still don't belong to me**

When Sam woke up Dean was in the shower, Sam stretched his long body easing back into a comfortable position deep in thought. He couldn't place where his unease

was coming from, he had just been made love to with the most astonishing tenderness but the more he thought the more the fear grew.

-

Sam continued to ponder this as well as how he was going to tell Dean that he had found out about the things that Dean had kept hidden. He was amazed at the fact he

hadn't blurted it out already (he seemed to always open his mouth before his brain caught up).

-

Case in point just last week they had pulled of onto an old logging road to do an inventory of the weapons locker, they kept it straight for the most part, because really the last thing

you needed was more silver bullets and not being able to find them with a werewolf breathing down your neck looking for supper. However things could use a little cleaning

and be secured better plus they really did need to restock. Sam had been unloading the trunk as Dean laid the weapons on blankets. Sam had finished pulling out everything when

he saw something wedged into the very corner at the far back and almost obscured from sight by the several wide straps they used to hold the bigger guns.

-

Sam remembered why he liked having the arm span of a small plane when he didn't have to crawl into the trunk to wrestle the object out . When he finally got it liberated he not only

knew that it hadn't accidentaly gotten there but he had seen it before. Sam studied it while trying to remember the last time he had actually seen it and realized it had been about a

year ago. He could hear Dean moving around behind him checking over all their pieces, making sure nothing was in need of repair and taking notes on what they needed to procure

to be fully stocked again.

-

Sam just stood there in frustrated silence trying to get his temper under control (he really would love to find a way to kick himself in the ass) and school his facial features before he

could look at his brother. Sam looked down at the homemade EMF that Dean had used on the plane, the one that in all his smart ass glory he had made fun of and acted like it was

the stupidest thing he had not only see but that Dean had even bothered doing it. His gut clenched as he thought back to what he had said and the way Dean's eyes had flashed with

hurt and embarrassment before burying it behind his cocky mask. The way to read Dean had been staring Sam in the face then but it had taken him to fucking long to figure it out.

-

In the months that Sam had learned to watch Dean's eyes he had been able to see more of his brother than he had in the past twenty two years and it took his breath away every

time he saw the range of emotions that would pass through them before he was able to hide behind his fifteen foot high, twenty foot thick walls.

-

Sam turned around holding the EMF up "Hey Dean why don't we use this anymore?"

-

Dean looked up to see what he was talking about and if Sam hadn't been watching closely he would have missed Dean flinch when he recognized what Sam was holding. Dean

quickly looked down at where he was taking notes and mumbled "We don't need that one, we have a better one I got in town a few months back."

-

Sam had not only seen the flinch but before Dean looked down he had seen the pain and humiliation pass through those eyes and Sam felt like he had been stabbed in the heart

knowing that he had put that there. Sam tried for easy knowing he wouldn't be able to pull off anything else without spilling everything he knew, not with his heart bleeding and guilt

swamping him.

-

"I don't know man I kinda liked this one." he said.

-

Dean looked back up and replied "Sure ya did Sammy" before he smirked and went back to what he was working on. Sam knew he shouldn't have expected anything different, he

really wanted to blame it all on his dad but he knew that he had a very large part in why Dean hid everything, why he kept it all locked up

-

Sam shook his head coming out of his thoughts when he heard the shower cut off. He still couldn't place his unease from earlier so he stayed where he was waiting to take his cues

from his brother. Dean walked out already in his jeans toweling off his hair, his face had a lost expression till he looked up and saw Sam watching him. Sam could literally hear the

door slam and the lock turn clicking into place, keeping him out.

-

"Hey Sammy, didn't know you were up." Dean said as he threw the towel over the chair and grabbed his shirt.

-

"Yea, I've been up for a few. Why didn't you wake me?" Sam asked as he watched his brother put his boots on.

-

"Thought you could use the rest. I'm gonna head into town and grab some food, maybe get some things we're low on if I can find them, should be back in a couple." Dean said as

he put his wallet in his pocket, and grabbed his key and jacket. He walked over to the bed where Sam had sat up and kissed him slow and deep, before he pulled back and headed

for the door.

-

"If you'll give me a few minutes I'll go with you." Sam replied as he shifted to get off the bed.

-

"Nah, you go take your shower, I won't be gone long." Dean said before he opened the the door and was gone.

Dean leaned against the door for a second before pushing off and and heading for the Impala. He really didn't know if he'd live through it this time but he wasn't going to make it

difficult. He shifted into gear and headed into town.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed completely confused. "What the hell happened?" he muttered to himself, finally pushing up and heading for the shower. He stopped for a minute

finally making a decision. He sat down at the table pulling out all the information that he collected over the last several weeks. He set them out in neat stacks with the IQ scores on

top. He wound up taking longer than he had planned because every time he pulled out more of his research he would catch himself rereading it, still trying to come to terms with his

brother's obvious desire for no one to know his secret. Sam wasn't really sure if this was the way to go or not but after having a couple of mini meltdowns and several freak out

sessions this was the only thing he could come up with. He knew he couldn't pull off hiding this anymore an honestly he was pretty sure Dean knew something was up.

-

Sam finally acknowledged the fact that stacking and restacking the damn papers weren't going to do a damn bit of good so he made his way to the shower. He stood under the

spray trying to plan for every possible scenario, Dean mad, Dean shutting down and refusing to talk, Dean joking it off. Sam knew it was imperative that he get this right. He could

not fuck this up, something deep in his gut told him that if he didn't handle every aspect just right that something important and precious would be lost and Sam was damn tired of

loosing things. It just was not going to happen this time.

-

Sam shut off the water reaching for the towel and froze. He knew he had taken his time but there was no way Dean had been gone for two hours. He knew Dean was back, there

was no noise to alert him, it just was a deep physical knowledge. When Dean walked into the room everything shifted, it was like electricity charged the air around him, molecules

realigned to grant him passage. Sam had seen it time and time again when his brother would walk into a bar or a victims home everyone would look his way. For Sam though it was

like having a built in backassward GPS that told him when his brother was near.

-

Sam could tell you exactly when Dean had stopped by Stanford to check on him. Sam's hair would stand up on his neck and arms. He never saw Dean but he could feel him in an

elemental way all through his bones Sam dried off quickly and pulled his jeans, he had planned to be out of the shower before Dean got back. He wanted to sorta present it to him

like he did his research when they were working on a case. But this was Dean and nothing had ever gone the way it was planned when it came to his brother.

-

Sam took a deep breath, grasped the handle and opened the door. He thought he was prepared, he thought he had it covered, and then that deep, rough voice said just one word.

-

"When?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Warnings : Wincest**

**Pairings : Dean/Sam**

**Disclaimer : Nope not mine maybe someday**

**Authors Notes : This is it folks, last chapter. For all of those that read and reviewed thank you so much and for those of you that read but didn't review I hope**

**you enjoyed it as well. Again thanks for all your support. I wanted to get this posted tonight in case the tornados headed my way decide to get**

**me I didn't want to leave you hanging.**

Dean knew he had only been gone about and hour, but the shops had been a bust and he had picked up the food and just headed back to the motel depression dragging his

shoulders down. He sat in the car for ten minutes trying to find that spot where he could shove everything and lock it away. He wouldn't' make this any harder on Sam. He shoved

the keys in his pocket grabbed the food squared his shoulders and made his way to the door. He put on his best carefree smirk and walked into the room. The shower was going

and Sam was absent from the bed. Dean heaved a sigh knowing he had a few more minutes to plug the holes in his defense system.

-

Dean walked over to the table to sit the food down while he waited for Sam. Glancing down at Sam's research to see where the next hunt was. His breath froze in his chest when he

saw his name on the sheet. _What the hell_ was his first thought and as he thumbed through the pages of transcripts and patent applications it was followed by _motherfuckingshit_,

not up to his usual colorful repertoire, but fuck. Dean staggered back by the sheer panic threatening to overwhelm him. The back of his legs came in contact with the bed and he

sank down on it. He was so stupid, he had been so careful, he could never do anything right. Dean buried his head in his hands trying to still his racing heart. He heard the door

open but it took him a minute to raise his head while he prepared himself for the look of disgust he was sure would be on Sam's face.

XXXXXXXXXXX

When Sam opened the door he expected his brother to be ready for a fight, he hadn't expected to see Dean sitting on the end of the bed head in his hands, his body slumped

forward where his elbows rested on his knees. In that one moment when Dean lifted his head and looked at Sam, Sam had to reach out and grab the door jamb to keep from hitting

his knees. Dean's face showed resignation his body defeat, his eyes absolute desolation.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"When" Dean's voice came out rough and hoarse.

-

"About three weeks ago" Sam answered, terrified to do anything but answer the question afraid that Dean would shut down and shut him out.

-

"How?" Dean asked, he needed to know how he had managed to fuck up this time.

-

"When I changed the tire I might have slung the jack into the trunk a little harder than needed and the compartment popped open" Sam tried for light making sure Dean didn't think

he was being accused of anything.

-

Dean nodded once and straightened his shoulders lifting his chin. Sam continued to stand in the doorway clutching the jamb for support, as he watched Dean prepare for what

looked like a firing squad. Dean started to speak but stopped and cleared his throat before trying again.

-

"Where do you want me to take you?" Dean finally managed to get out around the lump in his throat.

-

Sam was about to answer the next question he thought was coming his way when he realized what his brother had asked. Sam was pretty sure his mouth hit the floor. Obviously

Dean didn't notice that particular phenomena because he was still sitting there waiting for an answer. All Sam could see was the pain in his brother's eyes. It was so raw that Sam

felt his chest constrict and he would have sworn under oath that he was having a heart attack. The unease that Sam had felt since last night finally shifted into a complete picture.

Dean had been saying goodbye in the only way he knew how. Dean didn't talk he showed you, somehow while Sam had been trying to keep what he had learned a secret Dean

had misread the signs and thought Sam was pulling away preparing to leave again Sam added just for his own personal hell. Dean was going to let him go because that's what he

thought Sam needed to be happy, no matter how much it hurt him. Damn sometimes his brother just drove him crazy.

-

Had this been how Dean felt all the times in his life when everyone looked past him, left him and hurt him. This complete and total piercing pain like your heart was being ripped out

of your chest still beating. All the times that Dean had been hurt, and if he was completely honest with himself and how could he not be, most of those times were by him. They all

ran through his head like a kaleidoscope, Sam yelling at dad, dad yelling back, Dean trying to mediate and Sam telling him it was too late that this life wasn't enough. Two years later

the last time Dean had called and Sam told him not to anymore that it was too confusing he didn't want that life ever again. Dad just walking out no word just leaving. Cassie

laughing in Dean's face telling him to leave calling him a liar.

-

Even in Sam's head he sneered the name cause he really hated that bitch and if he thought he could have gotten away with it he would have let the truck get her before they got rid

of the freaking thing. Oh and lets not forget the asylum, shooting his brother, telling him he was pathetic and a good little soldier that he had no thoughts of his own, and then Sam

couldn't even offer a proper sincere apology because he was so eat up with guilt he couldn't even bear to look at Dean. Then just weeks later in Burketsville or whatever that freaky

ass place was called, Sam had pulled over gotten his stuff said spiteful, hateful things and just walked away. Then when Dean finally opens up in Chicago and tells Sam what he

wants he tells him he doesn't want the same things provided he didn't mean it the way Dean took it but he didn't clarify it for him either. Sam leaving to find himself, needing to know

what the demon wanted, promising his brother he would stay and then walking. The possession and shooting Dean again but with real bullets this time telling him he was worthless.

-

How in the hell had Dean survived, how could anyone survive that and from their family none the less? Sam felt bile rise in his throat and he swayed with the pain lancing through his

heart at all these things that caused his brother unfathomable pain. Dear God in Heaven even with his heart breaking Dean was asking Sam where he wanted to go . Sam could see

the broken and vunerable man in those beautiful eyes.

-

Sam walked forward to where Dean was now standing and took Dean's face in his hands leaning down and gently kissing his lips. Dean tried to pull back with a choked sound in

his throat but Sam held him a little tighter. He lifted his lips and kissed Dean's forehead then his nose before kissing both of his cheeks before returning to his brother's lips again.

Sam leaned his forehead down till it was resting against Dean's

-

"Why?" Sam quietly asked.

-

" I wanted you to have things Sam. Stuff you never had when we were growing up. You wanted normal, I wanted you to have the chance. I was so damn proud of you, you did it

on your own. I just wanted to make sure that when everything was over and done with you'd be taken care of, could have what you wanted. I didn't want you to have to worry

about how to pay the rent or try to decided if you could pay for groceries instead of a trip to the doctors if you needed it." Dean finally ran down, his words had been pouring out so

fast it was like he was afraid Sam would try to stop him before he had a chance to explain.

-

"No Dean, why did you hide it."

-

"Oh" Dean said as if the fact that he was gifted and no one knew never occurred to him. The shitty part about that was it probably hadn't cause no one had paid any fucking

attention.

-

"It wasn't important" he shrugged dropping eye contact to look at the floor like it was sprouting money.

-

"What do you mean it wasn't important?" Sam asked a little louder than he meant to.

-

"It just wasn't Sam, taking care of you that was, still is the most important thing" Dean stated.

-

Sam moved back to the bed pulling Dean down beside him. He was trying to figure out how to undo years of conditioning knowing that there was no way it would happen in one

day but feeling like he had to try to at least make a dent. Dean honestly believed what he was saying that his only worth he had was hunting and taking care of Sam. Dean had spent

years thinking he only had two purposes and thanks to him and his dads input or lack thereof as the case may be. He thought he was only wanted for what he could do not for who

he was.

-

Sam pulled Dean around to face him, lifting his chin with his fingers so that he would look at him.

-

"Dean you are the most important person in my life. What you want, what you do and most importantly what you feel is important." Sam said with quiet demand, trying to will his

brother to accept it.

-

" I have never done anything on my own, you have always been there, teaching me, supporting me, taking care of me and loving me even when I didn't deserve that devotion.

Furthermore I'm not going any damn where unless your with me. As for making sure I'm taken care of, the only way that's going to happen is if your where you belong." Sam said

waiting for Dean to ask the question he knew was on his tongue.

-

"Where do I belong Sammy?" Dean asked quietly his voice small and uncertain. His heart skipping a beat when his eyes find Sam's.

-

Sam leaned forward kissing him, tongue running along Dean's lips asking for entrance, something his brother gladly gave with a moan. Sam pulled back waiting for Dean to open his

eyes and look at him before he answered.

-

"You belong beside me, under me, in me, wrapped around me, but always with me." Sam answered in a husky voice. Dean's eyes cleared as he pulled Sam forward with a growl,

attacking his mouth. When they finally came up for air Dean grinned at Sam.

-

"So this mean your not mad at me for not telling you right?" Dean asked.

-

"Oh I wouldn't go that far baby. I think your going to have to be punished for that" Sam responded with an evil little grin that showed those damn dimples off and really how could

you resist those.

-

Dean's answer was a long, low moan as he pulled Sam down on top of him looking forward to that particular promise.


End file.
